Gittin 9:1
Can a man control the marriage options of his ex-wife?
讛诪讙专砖 讗转 讗砖转讜 讜讗诪专 诇讛 讛专讬 讗转 诪转专转 诇讻诇 讗讚诐 讗诇讗 诇驻诇讜谞讬, 专讘讬 讗诇讬注讝专 诪转讬专. 讜讞讻诪讬诐 讗讜住专讬谉. 讻讬爪讚 讬注砖讛, 讬讟诇谞讜 讛讬诪谞讛 讜讬讞讝讜专 讜讬转谞谞讜 诇讛 讜讬讗诪专 诇讛 讛专讬 讗转 诪转专转 诇讻诇 讗讚诐. 讜讗诐 讻转讘讜 讘转讜讻讜, 讗祝 注诇 驻讬 砖讞讝专 讜诪讞拽讜, 驻住讜诇.
If a man is divorcing his wife and says to her, 鈥淵ou are permitted to any man, except for Ploni [i.e. John Doe],鈥� Rabbi Eliezer permits this [to be considered a valid divorce and stipulation], but the Sages prohibit it. What then should he do? He must take the get back from her and give it to her once more, saying, 鈥淵ou are permitted to any man.鈥� But if he wrote [the stipulation] into the [get], even if he went back and erased it, it is invalid [and a new get must be issued].
Comments
Deuteronomy 24:1 allows a man to write a 鈥渂ill of divorce鈥� for his wife. The Rabbis call this document a “get.” The husband has to declare in writing that the wife will henceforth be considered free to marry any other man. But what if the husband tries to interfere with her subsequent plans? Can he control her after the divorce? Rabbi Eliezer would permit this, but the Sages require the divorce to be a complete break between husband and wife.
Divorce is never simple. Even when two people equally agree that a marriage is not sustainable, they may still remain jealous of the other, and try to curtail the other’s freedom. Our Mishnah shows that this phenomenon is not new.
Questions
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Can you defend Rabbi Eliezer鈥檚 position? What if the husband refuses to issue a divorce without this condition?
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The traditional get ceremony is one way, with the husband issuing and the wife accepting the divorce. What would a more egalitarian ceremony look like?
