How Do We Keep Our Hands Up?
There is a remarkable moment in Parashat Beshallah when the survival of the Jewish people appears to fully depend on whether Moses can keep his hands in the air. Though the entire incident is exactly eight verses long, there is plenty to unpack.
But first, a little context: The Hebrews are having a VERY tough go of it. Led by Moses, they have fled Egypt with Pharaoh following close behind (until he wasn鈥檛), and received a crash course on Matzah (Exod. 13:6), on Tefillin (Exod. 13:9), on being used as human bait (Exod 14:2鈥�4), on sarcasm in service of effective complaining (Exod. 14:11), and on the satisfactions of a well-placed 鈥淚 told you so鈥� (Exod. 14:12). And then just as they are learning how it is that free people go about acquiring water and food, they are attacked by the famously murderous, scorched-earth inclined forces of Amalek.
And it is then we arrive at our moment.
Joshua did as Moses told him and fought with Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and Hur went to the top of the hill. Then whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed; but whenever he let down his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses鈥檚 hands grew heavy, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur, one on each side, supported his hands; thus, his hands remained steady (vayehi yadav emunah) until the sun set. And Joshua overwhelmed the people of Amalek with the sword.
(Exod. 10鈥�13).
Sounds like a pretty simple win-story for team Hebrews, doesn鈥檛 it? Yet, in a certain way, the Rabbis appear reluctant to let the choreography of this narrative speak for itself. Coming so soon after Moses raising his arm over the Sea of Reeds triggering its parting and then again raising his arm when the sea closes over the Egyptian army, the whole 鈥渨hen [Moses] raise(s) his hand and the Israelites prevail鈥� thing in the conflict with Amalek appears to the Rabbis to be a bridge too far; Moses鈥檚 arm-raising proximity to three of God鈥檚 miracles in a row makes the Rabbis nervous.
What are they nervous about? Reading vayehi yadav emunah as 鈥渉is hand was faith鈥� instead of 鈥渉is hands remained steady,鈥� the Midrash speaks directly to their concerns:
鈥淒id Moses鈥檚 hands themselves strengthen Israel or break Amalek? No! Only, as long as he raised his hands toward Heaven, the Israelites would look at him and have faith鈥� (Mekhilta on Exod. 17:11). The Rabbis wanted everyone to be very clear about the true source of the Israelites鈥� success.
In my role as the mental health coordinator of a Marcus Foundation grant to 91快播鈥檚 Center for Pastoral Education, the parashah鈥檚 more covert conversation about identifying the source of any leader鈥檚 success in serving the extraordinary needs of their community resonates deeply. I have been privileged to converse with a broad swath of 91快播 alumni鈥攅ducators, chaplains, rabbis, hazzanim, and Jewish professionals, people I call 鈥渟piritual and emotional first responders,鈥� about the extraordinary spike in emotional and spiritual needs of their constituents of the last few years and the incredible鈥攁nd too often uncelebrated鈥攍engths they have gone to ease their burden. I have left nearly every encounter wiser, humbled, and inspired.
Sadly, I was also struck in these exchanges by the nearly unanimously expressed feelings of intense isolation in the face of the huge mental health needs of their constituents, as well as their own existential fatigue. These Jewish professionals are actual heroes, providing comfort when it feels there is none to be had, rising to every challenge all while engaged in the very same struggles in their own lives!
The question arises: How, as a community, can we support the caregivers as they support the careseekers? What would it look like to, like Aaron and Hur, help hold their arms high? As a partial answer to that question, the Center for Pastoral Education will soon be launching two mental health/spiritual healing initiatives. The first will be a weekly series of 鈥淗ealing Torah鈥� sessions that will offer exposure to some of the deep sources of sacred healing from within our tradition. The participants will create a sacred (online) space to speak, share, listen, and be heard. The second initiative will be an in-person multi-day gathering this summer of caregivers/emotional and spiritual first responders to talk with each other, sharpen and expand their caregiving skills, listen to each other鈥檚 wisdom and experience, and lay the building blocks of a professional-personal support network that will play out long past the conference.
An adjacent caregiving challenge this parashah raises is reflected in the phrase 鈥淲ho heals the healer?鈥� Or better, perhaps, 鈥渨hen does the healer ever focus on their own healing?鈥� Before fighting with Amalek, the Israelites are trying to figure out where their next meal is coming from, offering another opportunity for sarcasm (Exod. 16:3). In response, as perhaps a Divine precursor to DoorDash, God famously rains down manna for the Israelites to eat, calling the nutritious precipitation a 鈥渢est [for] them鈥� (Exod. 16:4). The Rabbis wonder how God delivering food right to the Israelites鈥� (tent)step could be understood as a 鈥渢est.鈥� The commentator Nahmanides suggests that more than testing their obedience to God鈥檚 gathering instructions, perhaps the real test is of the Israelites鈥� capacity to rely on God鈥檚 care for them, to allow themselves to freely choose to accept God鈥檚 love and support (Ramban on Exod. 16:4). I think Nahmanides captures something very important and paradoxical about human nature. While we may excel in caring for, and even healing, others, in our own moments of crisis and need, we struggle to let others care for us.
Moses, Aaron, and Hur collectively remind us of the liberating and humbling truth that whatever part we may be privileged to play in someone else鈥檚 journey toward healing, our ability to serve others depends on our place in a larger sustaining system of renewal and replenishment. Moses knew he could not save the Israelites from Amalek alone and that to get that job done he needed God鈥檚 power. Despite whatever human ego- disappointment that knowledge may have triggered in Moses, he had the emunah, the steadiness and deep strength, to lean on鈥攍iterally and figuratively鈥攖he love and support of Aaron and Hur.
There is in Moses鈥檚 actions a model and inspiration for all the caregivers among us: true healing cannot sustainably flow in only one direction. For caregivers to live a sustainable life of caregiving, whether in a professional or personal setting, we must be living an ever-renewing, emotionally and spiritually nourishing life. Put simply, what goes out must come in. Rinse and repeat. Why? I guess because, at the end of the day, everyone鈥檚 arms get tired.
The publication and distribution of the 91快播 Commentary are made possible by a generous grant from Rita Dee (锄鈥漧) and Harold Hassenfeld (锄鈥漧).
