Sea of Repentance
转诇诪讜讚 讘讘诇讬 讬讜诪讗 驻讛:讘
讛讗讜诪专, 讗讞讟讗 讜讗砖讜讘, 讗讞讟讗 讜讗砖讜讘, 讗讬谉 诪住驻讬拽讬谉 讘讬讚讜 诇注砖讜转 转砖讜讘讛. 讗讞讟讗 讜讬讜诐 讛讻驻讜专讬诐 诪讻驻专, 讗讬谉 讬讜诐 讛讻驻讜专讬诐 诪讻驻专
讗转 讝讜 讚专砖 专讘讬 讗诇注讝专 讘谉 注讝专讬讛, (讜讬拽专讗 讟讝) 诪讻诇 讞讟讗转讬讻诐 诇驻谞讬 讬讬 转讟讛专讜, 注讘专讜转 砖讘讬谉讗讚诐 诇诪拽讜诐, 讬讜诐 讛讻驻讜专讬诐 诪讻驻专. 注讘专讜转 砖讘讬谉 讗讚诐 诇讞讘专讜, 讗讬谉 讬讜诐 讛讻驻讜专讬诐 诪讻驻专, 注讚 砖讬专爪讛 讗转 讞讘专讜.
讗诪专 专讘讬 注拽讬讘讗, 讗砖专讬讻诐 讬砖专讗诇, 诇驻谞讬 诪讬 讗转诐 诪讟讛专讬谉, 讜诪讬 诪讟讛专 讗转讻诐, 讗讘讬讻诐 砖讘砖诪讬诐, 砖谞讗诪专, (讬讞讝拽讗诇 诇讜) 讜讝专拽转讬 注诇讬讻诐 诪讬诐 讟讛讜专讬诐 讜讟讛专转诐. 讜讗讜诪专, (讬专诪讬讛 讬讝) 诪拽讜讛 讬砖专讗诇 讬讬, 诪讛 诪拽讜讛 诪讟讛专 讗转 讛讟诪讗讬诐, 讗祝 讛拽讚讜砖 讘专讜讱 讛讜讗 诪讟讛专 讗转 讬砖专讗诇
Babylonian Talmud, Yoma 85B
If one says, “I shall sin and repent, sin and repent” 鈥� they give him no chance to do repentance. [If one says:] “I shall sin and the Day of Atonement will atone [for me], the Day of Atonement does not atone . . . “
R. Elazar b. Azariah taught this interpretation: “From all your sins you shall be made pure before the Lord (Lev. 16:30) 鈥� for transgressions between a person and the Everpresent One does the Day of Atonement atone, but for transgressions between a person and one’s fellow, the Day of Atonement atones only if the person regains the other’s goodwill.”
R. Akiba said: “Happy are you, O Israel! Before whom are you made pure, and who purifies you? It is your Father who is in Heaven, as it says: And I will sprinkle pure water on you, and you will be made pure . . . (Ezek. 36:25). And it [further] says: O Lord, the hope [mikveh, lit. ‘immersion pool’] of Israel (Jer. 17:13) 鈥� Just as the immersion pool purifies the impure, so does the Blessed Holy One purify Israel.
I can think of no better metaphor than mikveh for God’s role during aseret y’mei teshuvah, the Ten Days of Repentance that lead up to and include Yom Kippur. The wordplay at the heart of Rabbi Akiba’s midrash teaches us about the emotional, spiritual, and physical changes that must occur for us to become pure, for we must conjure a sense of hopefulness in order to undergo the personal transformation required to begin anew in 5771.
Before sharing my approach to mikveh, one interpretation of the mishnah above deserves attention. Moses Maimonides, or the Rambam (1135鈥�1204), outlines in his Hilkhot Teshuvah a three-stage process as the core of repentance: (1) recognition of wrongdoing, (2) regret, and (3) commitment to change. These steps require a combination of rigorous honesty and courage in order for one to take responsibility for wrongdoing and its consequences and make amends. As a result of this undertaking, Maimonides writes that one can truly claim, “I am someone else and not the same person who committed those acts (Hilkhot Teshuvah 2:4).”
This year, as in many previous years, since becoming a ba’al teshuvah (born-again Jew), I will use two powerful water rituals to assist my becoming a new person in 5771. On Rosh Hashanah, I utilized the Tashlikh ceremony to declare my misdeeds in 5770 and to express remorse verbally and symbolically by tossing moldy bread into the ocean. On the day before Yom Kippur, I will return to the sea to immerse myself in those salty waters and to assert that I have at least begun a spiritual metamorphosis. In between those acts, I ask God to guide my prayers and my righteous giving so that I can demonstrate how my internal and external selves have pure intentions for the new year. This framework offers me hope-made-visible by turning the moldy bitterness of regret into the pure freshness of possibility, which I taste as salty and sweet.
